teenytigress:

SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY

awkwardvagina:

one time my friend asked me to make a playlist for a road trip because their car radio didnt work so i made one that consisted of 14 different versions of party in the usa and long story short im not trusted with bringing music anymore

uhhhthena:

ppeebee:

jaymesmcguiness:

KRISPY KREME ARE GIVING OUT A FREE DOUGHNUT FOR EVERY A YOU GET ON YOUR REPORT CARD

THIS HAS MOTIVATED ME MORE THAN MY TEACHERS.

i’d have 6 free donuts.

I’m gonna steal my friend’s report cards.

(Source: alexandler)

(Source: theamericankid)

(Source: sealcat)

blein:

sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST 

(Source: causeofdeath-bbc)

internetfeet:

People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t

Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”

And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”

barksysofetch:

BEST SASS FROM THE BBMA’S THIS YEAR!!!!

(Source: xelamanrique)

(Source: starfox-the-corgi)